Joy
noun
a feeling of great pleasure and happiness.
The word ‘joy’ gets thrown around a lot during this time of year. This word weaves through Christmas songs, shows up on holiday greeting cards, and is spelled out in holiday decor items.
Joy is literally defined, in the dictionary, as ‘a feeling of great pleasure and happiness’. Yet it can seem nearly impossible to feel joy when feeling stressed. How can we access the feeling of joy during the holidays when we are constantly occupied and preoccupied with shopping, budgeting, working, partying, and traveling?
Giving to others can spark joy within you, the giver.
The act of giving happens across cultures, religions, income levels and identities because humans like the way giving feels. Interesting research with children found that ‘giving’ lead them to feel happy. In particular, the researchers discovered that when children engaged in “costly giving” (sacrificing their own treat and sharing it), happiness soared!
Other research has found that the most rewarding experiences in helping others were based on care and empathy. NOT feeling obligated, pressured or expecting reciprocation was key to positive, warm feelings associated with giving to others. The data found when people have some choice about whether or how to give, they felt happy. They needed to understand their generosity would make a difference. This review supports the idea that ‘prosocial’ spending promotes happiness and joy.
Thus, if you feel obligated or pressured to buy a gift, try taking a step back and pause. Take some deep breaths with long exhales. Allow yourself some time to reflect on a gift that you feel, interally, is right for the intended received. And to see if your gift ideas provoke some joy within you.
Or you can consider giving the gift of time together. This particular research found support for gifts of spending time together strengthened relationships. For instance, a card that offers time together at a coffee shop, a hike or a shared experience (such as a play or music performance) can lead you both to feel connected, intimate and loved.
Feel joy this season giving to others
Gift giving during the holiday can be stressful. But there are also stressors coming at you from other sources. Taking some time this season for a few minutes, every day, of slow, intentional breathing with long exhales can give you a stress break. During this break, orient to gratitude. Connect with people and circumstances that you feel grateful for. This small, self compassionate break can lead you to find ways to feel joy from giving to others.
Remember, giving to others is also a gift of joy yourself.
