Emotional Wellness Tips

Right now our modern world is feels stressful. ‘Doom scrolling’ numbs us but also keeps us stressed. All that is happening around us, to us or within us can provoke stress, anxiety or depression.  But how do we acknowledge and accept a range of emotions that feel too big to hold?  By cultivating emotional wellness.
Research has helped us learn that labeling emotions with words, rather than ignoring, avoiding, or suppressing them, can actually prevent a dark emotional spiral1.  Dr. Dan Siegel, one of the leading experts on mindfulness and mental health, calls this exercise “name it to tame it.”   Acknowledging the broad range of emotions within us, labeling them with words that feel appropriate, and then allowing ourselves to feel and accept the emotions can decrease the brain’s amygdala response and instead turn on the part of the brain that processes emotions.

It may feel counterintuitive to lean into feelings of despair or helplessness . But we can build the capacity to be with these emotions. The more capacity we have the more likely we will experience emotional wellness.

It is totally OK if you don’t know how to be with all that you are feeling within. We encourage our readers to give themselves compassion and grace to take baby steps towards their emotions. Being open to accepting what we are feeling is a hard first step.  The next step is even harder:  allowing yourself to connect, feel and process the feelings.

Cultivate Mindfulness

Mindfulness to the rescue!   Being curious and mindful of what you are feeling can decrease stress. Even noticing something is too painful to acknowledge is OK. Being aware you need to avoid an emotion is a healthy coping skill. Breathing into uncomfortable sensations within your body can help soften the intensity of what you are feeling.

 

Mindfulness, however, is not something you can just make yourself do.  For instance, phone reminders won’t help you cultivate your innate ability to be present, even if it’s scary.

Mindfulness is a skill that needs daily practice, consistent intention, courage, and curiosity.  Working with a mindfulness-based therapist can help! Mindful therapy creates the space to slowly and safely unpack what has been shoved deep down. When you are mindful and can be with big emotions you have achieved emotional wellness.

Here are some specific mindfulness practices to try out…

Mindful walking – Take a 5-minute walk, outside, without headphones and without a phone in your hands. Open yourself to the sounds, sights, smells, tastes, and feels around you.

Mindful eating – Pause for several minutes while you are prepping a meal. Get curious about texture, taste, and aromas. Try counting (silently) up to 20 while you chew to ensure each bite will be properly digested.

Mindful breathing meditation – Sit quietly with eyes closed for at least 5 minutes. Bring your attention inward and connect to your breath.  Follow your breath and its’ rhythm. Notice sensations within your body while you continue to inhale and exhale deeply.  It is normal to be distracted by thoughts. When you notice the thoughts, bring yourself back to your breath.

Reflect and Connect with the Feelings Wheel

Matthew Lieberman, associate professor of psychology at UCLA, found this important element from his research:

“When you put feelings into words, you’re activating this prefrontal region and seeing a reduced response in the amygdala. In the same way you hit the brake when you’re driving when you see a yellow light — when you put feelings into words you seem to be hitting the brakes on your emotional responses.”

This simple concept of naming emotions to achieve overall emotional wellness is not easy.  It takes time to build the capacity to be aware of what we are experiencing internally. Labelling and allowing them takes even more time. Practicing mindfulness is a great start to learning how to label and process emotions.

The Feelings Wheel can help with labeling. Read the different words on the wheel and see if any words resonate with you. You might be surprised at what you find is being held within.

Journaling

Writing down what you are feeling, experiencing and thinking can be a great pathway to emotional wellness. You can use a Feelings Wheel or free lance expression to capture what is happening within. Depositing feelings and thoughts onto paper can give you a container to hold them.

Try journaling in the morning, before you start your day. This can help you to feel lighter through the day. Or journal in the evening, before bed, to unload the day’s experiences.

All of us have the innate human capacity for emotional wellness. By cultivating mindfulness, naming your emotions, and finding ways to process them that feel good to you, can lead you straight to emotional wellness.

Reference

1 Lieberman MD, Eisenberger NI, Crockett MJ, Tom SM, Pfeifer JH, Way BM. Putting feelings into words: affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli. Psychol Sci. 2007 May;18(5):421-8. doi: 10.1111/j.1467-9280.2007.01916.x. PMID: 17576282.